Forlorn Cognition Sanji x Reader
by Hidrome
Summary: Sanji x Reader!Seer One-Shot. Warning: Contains spoilers from Whole Cake Island Arc.


Lips sealed, I carefully slipped out of the stifling bed and gathered some clothes for an unprecedented bath. With the door shut and locked behind me, I rapidly filled the tub, boiling water saturating my skin and bringing the air to a sweltering degree.

In solitude, like glass breaking, I shattered the cage that confined my rampant feelings for a future I had foretold. Screaming under the water with my breath leaving my lungs hastily, I gripped my hair and tugged, trying to bring some form, _any form_ ,of  
feeling into my body other than this _pain_.

This future was a mask of hope and happiness. It was mockingly peaceful. It was nice until the mask was torn away and the face was revealed. The secret anguish and loneliness that was locked away.

(The abusive family.

The degrading power-smitten eyes.

The _unloved_.)

Bursting up from under the water, my skin burning, I slapped my hands over my mouth to silence the inevitable sobbing and hacking of coughs as tears fell from my eyes and my nose dribbled.

Feeling a wave of remorse, I dug my nails into my back and tugged upwards. The skin and blood tearing from my body and dying the water crimson remained unnoticed as scenes replayed and filled my mind.

I couldn't breathe when–

(Luffy found _him_ , completely exhausted.

Though he cursedour name, our family, Luffy still refused to fight him.

As Luffy got back up.

 _'The more you kicked me... the harder you kicked me...I wasn't feeling that pain!'_

 _'Without you... I won't... I CAN'T BECOME THE PIRATE KING!_

The hunger strike.)

The numbing pain as my friends, _nakama_ , cried. As _he_ truly showed his broken pieces, when the truth of his heart was exposed, it swallowed me in.

( _'I've decided to quit struggling and go with the flow.'_

 _'I lived in pure hell. I've returned to that hell now.'_

 _'But during the thirteen years I was away... I was greeted with a life style that allowed me to be incredibly happy.'_

 _'Everyone I met during that time... they're all my saviours.'_

 _'I only wish I could disappear from all their lives without hurting a single one of them.'_

 _'My adventure must... come to an end here!'_

As he talked to her, spilling his true and pure heart out.

 _'You... are my only "saviour" ...'_ )

Washing my eyes from the stinging tears, I restrained my emotional state and forcefully tried to calm my mind but I couldn't help trailing back to him. He had been holding this back from us this whole time as we dealt with everyone else's problems. Hewas...alone.

Draining the water and making sure everything looked normal, I bandaged my back as accurately as I could with Chopper's spare first-aid he leaves in the bathroom. Wincing, I tugged on my clothes. Certain that it looked like I didn't experience anothervision  
from the curse of my fruit, I cleaned my teeth. After airing the room out and letting my towel to hang outside, I quickly made my way to the dining room for breakfast.

.

.

.

Seated down next to Robin and Nami, I gave my family a wide smile. They greeted me and smiled back, beginning to chat with each other as Sanji plated our food.

I couldn't look at him, not yet.

"Here you are, Nami-swan~! I made sure to add ten times more love into making your dish today to make up for the years of separation. Same with you Robin-san and [name]-chwan~!" The blonde maleswooned, handing his dishes to us.

"Thank you, Sanji," Robin replied, smiling at him.

"Anything for you, my love~," he beamed, eyes in the shape of hearts.

"Thanks, Sanji-kun." I murmured, observing the exquisite food in front of me.

"Hm? Did you say something, [ ]-chwan?" He asked, continuing to set up breakfast for everyone else. I waved him off, feeling nauseous at the sight of a small bowl that was filled with pudding.

(When _he_ had heard her voice through the rain.

Her sweet voice that was once embracing and comforting was now a sickly cheerful sound as she spoke of her plans.

 _'From faithful joy to pure despair as I point my gun to his head!'_

His shadowed face as she made banter of his pain that was only destined to fall on him.

As she made a mockery of his exposed heart, as she laughed at his broken mind.

As the flowers fell.

 _'God, he was so ugly! Can you believe it?!_

 _'Who the hell would ever want to marry a failure like you?!'_

When he cried.)

I clenched my hands under the table, my nails leaving moon-crescent marks on my skin. How _dare_ she?!

Breathing deeply, I relaxed again and smiled through my numbing thoughts.

As soon as our chef was seated, Luffy's hands started their daily conquest of stealing as much food from everyone else's plates while stuffing his face with said food. Usually, I too would be knocking his hands away from my dish but today, my energy haddeteriorated  
to the point that I could barely lift my own hands.

Reluctantly, I joined in the conversation and ate away at the side dishes of my plate, leaving my pudding in plain view for taking.

As soon as he took it, I felt relieved but a horrible despise as the others ate it. I didn't want a single thing to do with pudding anymore. For all I know, I wanted to burn down every single thing on this planet that had the name pudding. With hiddenannoyance  
but respect, I watched as Sanji blew up at Luffy for daring to touch my food.

"It's okay, Sanji... I'm not too hungry this morning anyway." I muttered, finishing the rest of my breakfast and getting up to place it in the sink.

"Oh, that's okay, [ ]-chan. I can take those if you'd like." Sanji offered, stepping up to remove it from me. Sanji's chivalrous acts always astounded me and how he had such care to even unknown women. Nonetheless — even if itcan be seen as  
hisperversion —it brought happiness to me when he showed it.

Just not right now.

"That's fine, Sanji-kun! I've got it!" I answered, giving him a closed eye smile as I couldn't bear to see his charming face.

"What about us?" Zoro drawled, having finished his food along with Franky and Brooke.

"You can do it yourself!" Sanji barked, his glare prominent.

"Oh, Sanji~. Could you please put mine away?" Nami called with a ladylike airiness to herself.

Bullshit.

I sighed and put my dishes away, slipping away from the group. I should have really seen Chopper to make sure I hadn't accidently permanently scarred myself or worse, but he was currently infatuated in Usopp's stories. I didn't want to stop that happinessand  
if I had seen him, it would've brought unwanted attention to myself.

Reaching the girls' room, I grabbed my journal and ducked down into the aquarium bar. I needed to record my prediction and recall every detail for later use. This was a very long and painful process. Really, I wanted to just scream to the world my thoughtsbutit  
wasn't in my place to tell. There was some I was going to explain this to, mainly being Sanji and Luffy for future reference, but I wanted to hold that off for now. I wanted them to be as happy as they could be for as long as possible.

That was the problem with telling people and about my cursed fruit power and my predictions. Humans are greedy. If they know a future, they feel as if they have a power over othersandcan control the outcome of a situation. This was wrongin many  
ways. The other reason was the only time I did tell people was when it was bad. If a future was happy, why change it? However, if it was unlucky and a bad future, I wanted to give them a warning but it would destroy their current naive  
hurt a lot. Additionally, there was the hanging pressure of the situation on their minds and the chance that by telling them, they could only make it worse. It really was a gruelling thing on the human mind.

Plopping down onto a seat by the only table, I grabbed a wine bottle out with my heart shaped key that Sanji had kindly given to me. It was easier to retell or recall the prediction when I was drunk or more on the hazy side of things because slipping  
intothe scenario was something my willpower couldn't resist as much. As I felt my consciousness seeping into my prediction, my unconsciousness steadily took over and wrote down every detail and feeling of it.

.

.

.

Waking up again from my dreamlike state, I felt a nearby presence of another being. Quickly sitting up, my eyes fixated on the string that swayed gently beneath my chin. The additional weight on my head and the slightest of pricking of a material againstmyhair  
alerted me of what it is.

It was my captain's straw hat.

Coming back to my senses, I realised the owner was sitting by my chair on the ground, sleeping. Looking around, I saw Usopp leaning against the glass fish tank with Franky not too far away. Brooke was sitting on another chair near the door whereZoro  
alsosat next to, his posture relaxed against the wall. Robin and Nami were holding Chopper in a gentle grip as they laid upon a makeshift blanket and pillow only bed. All that was missing was a certain gentleman who was nowhere to be seen.

An ache crept into my heart and clenched it tightly as I watched my peaceful family. How happy and comfortable we all were in the presence of each other in this one room. It just didn't seem right that this had disappeared two years ago, by one man, and  
howit will happen again by a greedy no-good father and a rotten Yonko.

Sitting up more, I looked down at the filled pages of writing. The page was crinkled and some ink was minimally smudging.

"You were crying," my captain voiced, opening his eyes and looking up at me. "You were screaming and shouting in silence. Why, [name], why didn't you tell me of your pain?" Luffy asked, staring directly at me. I looked back at him, his smooth and glossy  
browneyes wide but stern with confusion and hurt.

"I'm sorry." I croaked, my tears building again as the pain grew. I chewed on my lip and closed my eyes as the water fell, making a splashing sound on my captain's forehead. It seemed to echo in the silence of the room.

He closed his eyes for a moment and stood up, pulling me up with him. "You need to tell me and _him_ what happened." As we moved through the quiet room, I settled my racing heart. This has happened only once before when I was told of the screamingin  
silence.

When we were separated from each other, I had a prediction of Luffy. It was of his battle through Impel Down and the war that commenced on Marineford. Of his shattered mind as he was transported to Amazon Lily, the island of women.

The people who were with me —seers and psychologists —had been observing as I wrote in my detached state. They told me I was screaming and crying and shouting in silence, begging for the wellbeing of my captain. With this in mind, I had connectedthe  
pieces of the puzzle and I had figured what they were talking about. In my unconscious state, I was in the prediction. I couldn't do anything but I was there. As my mind watched on and made movements, I had similarly responded to that withmyphysical  
state. When I had cried for Luffy's family and screamed for his life when I had seen the admiral race to him, I had done so in my body as well. The only difference between now and then was that this time my nakama were with me.

As the door clicked shut behind us Zoro opened his eyes and directed his gaze to Robin. She nodded at the silent order of privacy and closed her eyes again.

.

.

.

The view over the sea was always mesmerising from the crow's nest in day and night. That's where Sanji was waiting. He had taken up the duty of night-watch for this night and had settled in, only having the faintest clue that something had happeneddue  
to my absence during the earlier meals.

I stood next to Luffy in silence as the other male gave us his attention. Already understanding this was to do with a prediction that I had encountered somewhere from yesterday and today, he respected me and kept his swooning to himself.

I looked at him, not saying anything, just observing. His hair was a golden colour, smoothed down by a comb, and had that everlasting shine from whenever there was the slightest light nearby. His tie was neat and had a nearly invisible tracing of flour  
onit, probably from dinner which I had missed out on. His shoes were bland but had the shoelaces tied in the most fashionable way, I couldn't believe such a significant thing could be so delicate. His face, though, was the most enrapturing feature  
ofhis physical appearance. His high cheekbones and smooth skin, the swirled eyebrow that was mostly gold but had that invisible brown lining around it. His small eyes that are creamy blue. They were light like the sky, not dark like the

well-kept stubble that adorned his chin and above his mouth highlighted his matureness from the time when I met him.

He was a very attractive person.

I often wonder why others cannot see this side of him.

I gnawed on my lip as I remembered his puffed-up face from the beating he had received from his own flesh and blood after retaliating to their despicable treatment of women. Feeling a new wave of heartache, I leapt at him, making him stumble back as hecaughtme.

I inhaled his scent of smoke and the aromatic blend of nutrition that had developed over the years from cooking. Gripping his suit tightly, I nuzzled into his chest, absorbing his warmth and the life that filled him. I could feel his heartbeat in my ears  
andI couldn't wish for something better than that. Slowly he reached behind my back and held me close as I closed my eyes and let my emotions spill.

I knew his heart was starting to beat faster and his thoughts were going haywire due to me being in his arms but I didn't mind if he was thinking of touching me inappropriately, I just needed him to be here on this ship with our family.

Not forgetting Luffy, I looked behind me with my face snuggled up against Sanji's chest at his direction. He had an unreadable expression on his face. I delicately let one of my arms go and reached towards his direction. He looked at the hand for a moment  
thenat my desperate expression. Gently and silently, he put his hand in mine as I pulled him into my hug as well. I knew they probably weren't going to hug each other but them being near me was enough for now. Enough for me to tell them of what  
Ihad seen that night.

.

.

.

Sitting in the infirmary, Chopper disinfected and stitched up my back, doing as much as he could to make sure I was treated well. He, of course, was mad at me for doing such a silly thing to myself in the first place and I had accepted his anger in stride.I  
knew that intheheat of the things, it had been the rational thing to do to remove my mind from falling into despair but in the truth of things, I was as batshit crazy as the rest of the people on this crew, thus acting carelesslyin the moment  
was a common trait that had latched onto me.

"If I ever find out that you have done this again, so help me, I will glue mittens to your hands so you can't do it anymore!" Chopper seethed. With his voice, one would suspect that he was furious at me but his actions remained tender as he finalised  
thebandaging. "Now, come to me every day after breakfast. It should be healed in a week but with the madness of our adventures, it might stretch out longer than planned."

I smiled at the doctor and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You're an amazing doctor, Chopper. I'm really happy you're on this crew." As he denied and shamelessly tossed my compliments to the gutter, a knock at the door disturbed our thoughts.

"Sorry for intruding but breakfast is ready," Sanji informed us, smiling clearly at me.

"Yay, food! Okay, [name], when you're ready you can leave." Chopper placed back the alcohol and supplies back before leaving the room, leaving Sanji and me alone.

The chef walked in and kneeled in front of me as I held my hands in my lap, head downcast. It was silent for a while until I spoke up. "Sanji-kun... I'm sorry-," he moved his hand up and silenced me with hisfinger.

"It's okay, [l. name]-chan. I'm not angry at you for not telling me. I'm happy that you did in the end. If you hadn't then I worry for your health. This being a clear example of the danger that could have happened." He softly tilted my head up till our  
eyesconnected, my own watering again. He caressed my cheek and wiped away the tear that followed.

I blinked and smiled weakly, holding his hand in place when he went to remove it. "I'm such a crybaby, constantly crying over the last two days. Hah, I wonder who'd comfort me if I wasn't on this crew." He weakly smiled back and brushed his thumb against  
myskin.

"I'm glad I met you, [name]-chan. If I hadn't, I wonder where I'd be." He murmured, brushing a strand of hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"Probably following Nami around like a lost puppy."

He briefly chuckled, nodding his head. "Probably."

I smiled at him, my now exposed sadness starting to fade away. "I'm grateful you're here, Sanji. Please don't leave us."

"I can't even if I wanted to." His breath now fanned my face, the mint scent refreshing me. "If I left, I wouldn't be able to see you smile anymore, [name]. I want it to stay that way."

I leaned in closer, my hand on his shoulder and brushed our lips together, pausing to linger as a warmth filled me, removing the ache from my heart. "I...like you a lot, Sanji...and... if you ever need someone to just talk to —.I'm here. So please,if  
you ever disappear, don't lose hope. We'll always come after you, because... because you're our family! I don't care if it's a Yonko or the whole marines! We'll _never_ abandon you."

He connected our eyes and my breath caught as he smiled. "Don't worry, [name]. I know you'll come after me – that's what worries me the most – but I believe in you. So, I'll wait for you. Though, no matter what happens, I'll protect you, till my dying  
lastbreath."

I slowly nodded and tugged on his arms, making him stand in front of me. "I'm glad I met you, Sanji." He chuckled and pulled me to my feet heading to the door.

Before opening it, he stopped and twirled around, hugging me tightly to his chest. "I like you, [name]. You're my hope for the future, good and bad." I hugged him just as tightly before our captain's voice came pounding through the walls.

"Sanji! Food! I want food!"

I laughed and let go of him, holding both of his hands in mine. "You're the chef of the Thousand Sunny, the server of the Pirate King. Don't forget that Sanji. Even if you're in enemy's hands, even if you're on the other side of the world, your home is  
here,with us."

"I won't," he once again pulled me outside to the dining room, the brightest smile I had seen on him yet, " _my saviour_."


End file.
